Today I joined a Writing Group. I have to admit I was kind of terrified. Mostly because I don’t like humans very much (which given the planet I live on is really an issue I need to overcome).

I also make a terrible first impression and tend to sabotage myself. The humour, which you see on Twitter, becomes uncomfortably dark and my ability to alienate myself levels up exponentially.

But it went well.

I knew it wouldn’t have any younger members because it was in the afternoon and I prefer the wisdom of older people in any case. Older people tend to have learned kindness which is far safer than instinctual kindness. By the time you reach a certain age, you’ve installed a code of conduct onto yourself – values. This means that people don’t tend to be total arseholes. Younger people can be reckless under the guise of honesty when in fact it is just bad impulse control and poor judgement.

Everyone was armed with pads and pens and thankfully I had brought those to ‘blend in’. The laptop sitting in my backpack was ignored for 2 hours. We missed each other.

I won’t lie – I did not make a great impression. I knocked over someone’s water, burned bright red whilst reading out the shortest piece of writing (outside of Twitter) that I have ever created and wanted to shrivel up on numerous occasions and evaporate into dust.

But the Tutor/Facilitator – He was pretty damn amazing. I could learn a lot from him. He had a great ability to create a good atmosphere and promote thinking.

He had me considering things that I have never ever thought about before.

The Group Session was about Tradition, History and Roots – all topics which I…struggle to connect to as I do not have a strong family dynamic and mostly raised myself.

And most of the group were talking about Traditions that were created long before I was even born. But it was interesting. It was interesting how the group could connect with each other and relate to each other because they are all from a similar…era (oh that sounds rude and bad. It is not intended that way).  In comparison (and don’t kid yourself – we all run subconscious and conscious comparisons in any group situation) I stood out like a sore thumb.

But like I said – the Tutor was a great man. Even a day later, I am still pondering things about the concept of ‘Tradition’ which I have never dwelled on before.

I do need to improve my writing but I must also improve myself. I think this group might help this development.

Oh, and I wrote this (it’s awful but maybe in a year from now we can all go ‘Whoa – look how you improved!)

 

Engineers and Mathematicians

Fleeing Wars to find Home

Only to be lost in the cold

And Coughed up on the West Coast

 

Near Oceans and Salt

Traditions of hard work or blending

Settling Down in Schemes

The roots belong to a different Forest.

 

It’s a bit random. But my family is broken and never recovered from fleeing the World Wars. And I see the world repeat its hatred of refugees without realising the knowledge and riches they could gain from new people. Without getting too into politics – I wish that the world could retain knowledge of past mistakes and break the cycle of ignorance that always comes round.